She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
