Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
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