We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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