do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I would fuck him just for his dog
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize