Your tits are I can't wait for
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
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