Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
