where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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