Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
