They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Randomize
