cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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