East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I came so hard my ears popped.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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