I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
