you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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