When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Randomize
