it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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