i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
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