Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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