hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
