also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Randomize
