I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
