Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize