what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
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