she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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