I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Randomize
