Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
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