i may or may not be watching the land before time
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Randomize
