Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
