Soap is not a condiment
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
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