I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize