ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
