she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Do vagina's smell?
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
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