she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
