just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
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