very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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