So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize
