Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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