We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Randomize
