He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
He? As in you personified your dick?
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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