Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Randomize
