i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
