I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
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