yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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