Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
