ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
