can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
