I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
