Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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