are you still at the devil's house?
Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Randomize