Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Randomize
