Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Randomize
