god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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