I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
I look better un-naked...
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
