forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
