So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
