in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
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