I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
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