I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
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