3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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