This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
