Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I'm too high and old for this...
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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