one two three fourrrrnication!
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
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