So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
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