You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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