i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
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