so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
