Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
they're like a gay fantastic four
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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