UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
