you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
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