margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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